My Big Fat Alien Wedding: A SciFi Romance

Chapter 1

Jennifer

Captain Adventure moved across the soft terrain, his eyes alert for danger. His left arm raised into the air, prepared to deliver his patented Karate Chop. He was on the lookout for Guzzlegore, the evil minotaur from the fifth dimension.

“Rawr!”

My son Mal struck at the Captain Adventure action figure in my hand with a black and red scary looking horned monster figure. “You can’t defeat me, Captain! I have the Ax of the Infernals!”

“Well, I have, um…” I hit the switch on Captain Adventure’s back. “A karate chop, I guess.”

I glanced out the window of Mr. Drozdov’s stretched limo. I was feeling a bit anxious about a vital errand I had to run before we picked up our latest client from the airport.

My seven year old son stared out the window with me. 

“Mom, are we going to Chet’s house?”

I pursed my lips tightly before answering. “Just for a minute, yes.”

“I thought you were breaking up with him.”

“I am...going to. Soon.”

“Are you breaking up with Chet because you like Mr. Bulldozer?”

I winced. The fact was, I did have a crush on my boss, but I didn’t like examining that fact up close and personal.

The limo stopped outside Chet’s apartment building, and I gave Mal back his toy. “Stay inside with Mr. Hughes, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“I know the drill, Mom,” Mal said, rolling his eyes. The little guy was a trooper. He was used to his mother having to work late.

I took the elevator up to Peter’s floor and headed to his apartment, wondering what I was going to say. Maybe he would be asleep, passed out after another video game and pot binge. Then I could just gather up my stuff and leave…

I used my key to let myself in. The lights were all on, but I didn't see Chet. I could hear the television streaming some show with guns and bombs and shit, and hear the shower, but I saw no sign of him.

I started gathering my stuff, figuring he was in the shower. My Iron Maiden t-shirt, one of Mal’s action figures, my DVD copy of the Three Tenors concert...I collected it into a small banker’s box. I could have headed out the door, but I decided to let Chet know what was going on, at least that I had taken my stuff so he wouldn’t think he’d been robbed. 

I waved away a cloud of steam and poked my head into the bathroom. “Hey, Chet, I just stopped by to…”

My voice trailed off as I saw a blonde head of hair bobbing at waist height. Chet’s eyes went wide as he stared in shock at me through the steam of the shower.

“Jen?” He sputtered. He pushed the girl off of him. She stood up, wiping her mouth and looking annoyed.

“What’s your fucking problem? And don’t even THINK about not reciprocating later…”

She saw me and her  mouth fell open in shock.

“Who is she?” she snapped.

“Funny, I was about to ask the same thing.”

“Oh, ah, Tracey, this is my girlfriend--”

“Ex girlfriend, Jennifer, and no matter what he told you, we do not...or should i say, DID not, have an open relationship.”

“Wait, Jennifer, I can explain--”

I stormed into the living room. I was going to break up with him anyway, but seeing him cheat was still a stinging betrayal. Chet donned a robe and followed me out, trying to talk, but I wasn’t listening.

It was time to teach him a lesson.

“I’m so done with you, Chet,” I growled. I almost tripped on the video game cords he had splayed over the living room. Angril, I stopped down on one of the controllers and smashed it to bits. The impetus yanked the cord and caused his gaming system to fall on the floor and shoot sparks.

The apparent Tracey joined us, donning her shoes and looking anxiously at me. “I am so sorry. He never said he had a girlfriend.”

“It’s fine,” I said, trying to upend his big screen TV. “Give me a hand with this?”

“My pleasure.”

The two of us lurched the television off the wall, while Chet looked on in shock. I smiled sweetly, and made my way back out to the limo.

“What happened, mom?” Mal asked.

“We’re not going to be hanging out at Chet’s place any longer, kiddo.”

“Oh, you mean, you broke up with him, right?”

I cocked an eyebrow and remained tight lipped, but Mal was a brilliant kid even at that age. He knew the score. 

“Hey mom?” 

I turned to Mal. “What is it, sweetie?”

“Why don’t you just go out with Mr. Bulldozer? I bet he likes you.”

I burst into laughter at that notion. Yes, my boss was undeniably handsome. Six and a half feet of muscle stuffed into an Armani suit that cost more than my education. But I don’t date my employers. Strict rule.

If I had known how the rest of the evening was going to unfold, I probably would have held my laughter.